Dealing with Homophobia

What Is Homophobia?

Homophobia has been defined in part as "The fear and hatred of those who love and sexually desire those of the same sex." (Penley Miller and Mahamati, 1994) Some people have very powerful fears or hatred of gay and lesbian people. There are many reasons for this:

- Peer Group Pressure : hating gays in order to belong to the group or win approval from friends and others who are homophobic.

- Power : To assert power over others by bullying, violence and harassment and thus, feeling better than them.

- Personal tendencies : To affirm a heterosexual identity and thus avoid fears and anxieties about their own sexuality.

- Prejudice : Believing the negative things they've heard or been taught about gay and lesbian people.

How Does It Affect Us?

Homophobia affects all of us.
It stops some heterosexual people from supporting same sex attracted young people due to fear of being excluded, bullied or thought of as gay or lesbian themselves. It often causes same sex attracted young people to deny their attractions in order to fit in with what we're told is normal. Often, young people don't discover their sexuality until they're older. Reasons for this may be a lack of information and awareness about same sex attraction. Why is there so little information for young people about same sex attraction? We need to look to HOMOPHOBIA as the reason.

We don't see many role models.
There are few positive gay, lesbian or bisexual role models on TV or in the media. Schools don't tell us about the notable people who are gay or lesbian such as the artist Michaelangelo, the authors Oscar Wilde and Virginia Woolf, the scientist Evelyn Hooker and the minister Reverend Dorothy McRae-McMahon. This lack of information is due to homophobia and results in young people missing out on knowing some great role models.

It can make acceptance of our sexuality difficult.
It can lower our self esteem. But, for some people, it can make their resolve stronger. They become determined to accept themselves, meet others like themselves and have positive and "out" relationships. There are challenges for same sex attracted young people but there are also groups and services around that will support you.

REMEMBER, IT IS HOMOPHOBIA THAT IS THE PROBLEM, NOT HOMOSEXUALITY.

A Young Woman's School Experience. R-J is 18 years old. This is her story.

"How do you come out at school?
Will I become this huge outcast, will I be embraced or will I be bashed?
These questions and many more were going over and over in my head every minute of every day since I had discovered I was gay. I was already seeing the student welfare co-ordinator for other reasons anyway so I thought maybe I could tell her. I had so many thoughts going through my head - she'll never want to talk to me again, she'll tell all the teachers and then everyone will know - but I had already trusted her so much already so I just had to trust her again; I needed to tell someone.

I finally wrote a note to her telling her I thought I might be gay and gave it to her outside the staff room after one of our sessions. I ran off before she could ask me about it. When all the awkwardness and shyness about the situation was over, she realised she had no numbers for me to call; nothing for me to read; nothing that could help get me through this. This was a shock for me but we worked through it, talked about everything. I came out at school not long after. Most kids at school had already made their own presumptions about me anyway. I really hadn't planned to tell everyone, only my friends, but somehow everyone seemed to know, which was hard for me because I wasn't quite ready for everyone to know. It was hard enough to tell my friends and deal with their reactions let alone the rest of the school.

Of course there were many comments, most of them coming from the guys - snide comments about me having a dick and maybe I should show it. Stupid things but they hurt so much when my confidence was so low and when all I wanted and needed was support. I was so lucky that nearly all my friends accepted me without question. By this time I had a partner and my friends were happy for me and Maddy my girlfriend. They all wanted to meet her. It helped to know that after I'd copped all the abuse and comments, I still had my friends to give me their support.

I found most of the teachers were pretty good; well the ones that knew anyway. I decided to take my girlfriend to my Year 12 Formal. But first I asked my VCE co-ordinator what she thought and what the other teachers might say. It turned out to be a great night. Most of my teachers came up and introduced themselves to Maddy, saying they'd heard so much about her. Even some of the students that weren't close friends came up to talk to her. We were really touched and shocked. It is such a good feeling to be accepted.
R-J age 18years.